When I was 11 or 12, I was riding my bike with a friend when her dog ran in front of me and hit my front tire. I went tumbling over the handlebars and onto the gravel road. With three pieces of gravel stuck firmly into my knee and blood everywhere, I hobbled home while crying hysterically. My dad came to my rescue and did his best to comfort me and patch me up. I remember being horrified that he had to pull the rocks out and clean the nasty mess that was my knee. We did not have any neosporin to disinfect it so he used some sort of spray that sent me through the roof in pain. Of course I was not happy to have the wound cleaned and disinfected as it caused more pain to an already painful scenario, but because of my father's love for me he knew it was better for me to endure a short time of pain (however hard that was for him to see), so that my wound healed correctly without infection or problems. Many years have passed and all that is left of the trauma is the memory of the event without the pain, a very small, faint scar at the bottom of my knee, gratitude for my dad and wisdom of not taking a beagle with you on a bike ride!
Every one of us has scars and the stories that go with them, visible reminders of our past. But what about the scars that don't show, the ones that go deeper, the ones that can't have a spray of disinfectant, a bandaid and a kiss to heal? These are the inner scars, the ones that tell stories of growing up with alcoholism and dysfunction, of betrayal, rejection and brokenness. My wounds used to speak very different things than they speak today... they used to speak to me that I was useless, worthless, they used to push me to drugs and alcohol, perfectionism, anorexia, lack of self worth and extreme self-hatred, today they speak of an amazing God who loved me enough to pick me up out of my mess, bring me salvation, clean up the mess that was my life and set me on a path of healing. My scars used to tell me that I was "damaged goods", not acceptable, not of the "in" crowd, on the outside looking in. Everything in my life was filtered through the wrong perspectives of the pain of my past that tried to destroy my future. Nothing was healed, just stuffed and covered - trying desperately to pretend everything was ok. Just as in the natural a wound has to be cared for correctly to heal well, we can't carelessly refuse to clean it or disinfect it and expect a good result, so too is it in the spirit... the things that have wounded us deeply cannot be left without care to heal properly. Years ago I realized I had stuffed a very deep betrayal from my childhood, I had never told anyone what happened and tried hard to pretend it never happened. Years later, the Lord showed me how I had grown bitter and distrusting because of it and inwardly it was like gangrene, eating away at me and affecting how I treated others. It had to be brought to light to be healed. Like my dad with my knee, I went to my Abba, and even though it was painful to deal with, He lovingly cleaned it up, disinfected it and comforted me through the pain, now it is a memory without the pain, a small faint scar, with wisdom gained and thankfulness to my Dad.
Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, "If you abide in My Word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free." They answered Him, "We are Abraham's descendants, and have never been in bondage to anyone. How can You say, "You will be made free'?" Jesus answered them, "Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave to sin. And a slave does not abide in the house forever. but a son abides forever. Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed." John 8:31-36
This scripture is a starting point to healing... "If you abide in My Word", if we abide or LIVE IN HIS WORD, we are His disciples and will know the truth and that truth that we know will set us free! It begins with His word, it begins with living in it, living it, breathing it, believing it, accepting it - accepting who His word says we are, not what our scars speak, not even what the voices of those who have hurt us say - what HE SAYS ABOUT YOU!!!!! We do not have to be slaves to sin any longer, slaves to our own sin or the sin of others against us, the SON HAS MADE YOU FREE!!!!
You are not "damaged goods", no matter what you have done or what has been done to you, there is forgiveness in Him and there is healing. Through Him, there is forgiveness of your sin and through Him is the ability to forgive those who have hurt you. Your Abba (Daddy God) is waiting to bring healing, to set you free from the pain that has held you captive. There is freedom, it is REAL, I have experienced it and I can testify that there is NOTHING too big or too hard for Him to heal. I am not saying that healing is always easy, there may be a little sting, but He will be there with the comfort you need and it will be worth it!